1
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This programme contains adult
humour

2
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Oi! You know the rules. Huh!

3
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,719
Ooh, careful! You might not be able
to fit into your,

4
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,559
I'm going to say, wedding tracksuit?

5
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,959
Ah, yeah, do you still want
a plus-one to the wedding?

6
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,159
<font color="
but even if there was someone

7
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,799
important in my life, I would walk
backwards over hot coals

8
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,039
to make sure they never, ever
meet your uncle Pat.

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You've met my auntie Pat.
Oh, my God.

10
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:32,039
<font color="
someone special at the wedding.

11
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Ooh, I do love an Italian stallion.

12
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Ah, about the destination wedding,
I couldn't afford it.

13
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,919
So instead, I've booked this
beautiful authentic Italian

14
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<font color="
wines, anti-pasties, the lot.

15
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It's called...
IN ITALIAN ACCENT: ..Allbarone.

16
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Ooh, hello, Bella!
But I don't know her.

17
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Oh, you'll love it, mate.
It's right opposite the station.

18
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,759
<font color="
Mitchell, that's All Bar One!

19
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No, no, no, no, no. This is an
Allbarone... Shit!

20
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They put all the words close
together on the website!

21
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They shouldn't be allowed
to do that.

22
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<font color="
Kylie has not consented to this.

23
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Kayleigh and, no, I booked it as a
surprise. I was going to show her

24
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:05,759
around the venue tomorrow night.

25
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Have you still got time
to change it?

26
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I blew the rest of the budget
<font color="

27
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IN ITALIAN ACCENT: ..Anthony Costa.

28
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Mitchell, the wedding is next month!

29
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What am I going to do?

30
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Allbarone took my deposit and
Anthony Costa charged me five grand.

31
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Oh, my God, this is a wake-up call.

32
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<font color="
You really do.

33
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CROWD: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

34
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Sweet! Argh!
BOTH: Fight! Fight! Fight!

35
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ALL: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

36
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<font color="

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Roaring up to the socials, let's go!

38
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Yeah! Yeah!

39
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,758
Oh, my God, it's Warren!

40
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CROWD CHANT: Lucci! Lucci! Lucci!

41
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Do something then, sir!

42
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Warren, play dead.

43
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HE GROANS

44
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My wee little heart!

45
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<font color="

46
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Ha! Stay down, you muppet!

47
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Let me get a...

48
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All: Ohaoooooooo!

49
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CHEERING

50
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You monsters! That's recycling!

51
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Got to get your protein in after
a good tear up.

52
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<font color="

53
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COUGHS

54
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Like and subscribe, bitches!
4K, all day. Peace! Woo!

55
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Gentlemen. Right, listen here,
you... Oh! Cheers, sir. Woo!

56
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,040
Warren, you can stop playing
<font color="

57
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Oh, not another one.

58
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And scene!

59
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WARREN GRUNTS

60
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Thank God for that.

61
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Urgh! Ooh! That is minging!

62
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SCREAMS, GRUNTS

63
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Oh, my God!

64
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<font color="

65
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Oh, Warren!

66
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You puked on my Loubs! Ow!

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MUMBLES

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Murder.

69
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I didn't catch a word of that.

70
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Oh, she said that little scrote put
superglue in her lipstick.

71
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<font color="

72
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Not Warren, Lucci Bantz. Warren was
sticking up for Usma.

73
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- CLICKS FINGERS
- Loubs!

74
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Warren picked a fight with
that unit? Who is he anyway?

75
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,239
You should know him, he's in your
<font color="
They've got no banter.

76
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,679
But, bro, he's got
200,000 followers.

77
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He broke the internet by pranking
his parents, at his own funeral.

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What is the ionuuuu.!
Lucci doesn't die!

79
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<font color="

80
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Miss, look, you're being filmed!
Filmed! There's a camera there,

81
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this is going to get millions of
views. Old sad woman.

82
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I'm proud of you, Warren. Would have
put big money on you

83
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,919
going down sooner.
<font color="

84
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,279
Jinx, shut up a minute,
I'm thinking.

85
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,479
I haven't said a word all day.

86
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,719
This Lucci's got a shit
load of followers, yeah?

87
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,319
And they would all bet big on him
to winning a fight.

88
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,359
<font color="
in the ring with a proper waif

89
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,439
and then, hypothetically, there was
a massive upset,

90
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,479
then hypothetically,
someone would make a fortune.

91
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:19,879
Everyone's going to bet on Lucci.

92
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,479
Yeah, but then I'd back the
<font color="

93
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,039
And then when Lucci takes a fall...

94
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:24,679
You'll make money!

95
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,839
Pay for my wedding
and save my relationship.

96
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,599
Wait, man, that's not going to work.

97
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,919
Anyways, Lucci Bantz is going to
throw a fight?
<font color="

98
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,719
How do you know what a tit
looks like?

99
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:34,839
Cos I've seen one, innit.

100
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,040
Your sister in the shower

101
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don't count.

102
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KISSES TEETH

103
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Inchez is right, sir.
Lucci's all about image.

104
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,599
<font color="
and if I don't sign his report card,

105
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:43,959
Lucci will get excluded.

106
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,719
So you're going to blackmail
a child into helping you embezzle

107
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,239
many other children?

108
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,999
See, Jinx, when you shut up
and you listen, you get it.

109
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,839
<font color="

110
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:56,879
Oh, your son's therapist did
call me. Well, yes, I agree,

111
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,239
there has been a slight
uptick in playground argy bargy.

112
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:02,599
Yes, no, two broken legs.

113
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That is probably one too many
thinking about it,

114
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,399
<font color="

115
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,759
God help us if there's a third world
war. I mean, I think we are

116
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very much in danger of sucking all
the spunk out of our young men.

117
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Parents are blaming the epidemic
of violence on Luke Banister,

118
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aka Lucci Bantz.
<font color="

119
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,599
What do you know about handbags,
Harper,

120
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,959
other than how to snatch them
from the back of a speeding moped?

121
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:33,039
No, the argy bargy. Look, as a
physical educator, I believe if

122
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,279
the kids are choosing violence, then
<font color="

123
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,559
Great minds.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

124
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,799
Yep. Whipping.
Boxing match. Whipping?

125
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:45,239
No, fair. No, perhaps whipping does
have some negative connotations.

126
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,679
<font color="
a well-aimed slipper.

127
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,719
Yeah, I was just
thinking about a boxing match.

128
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,158
Less bruising through a glove,
I like it.

129
00:05:53,159 --> 00:05:54,879
As long as it takes place
behind closed doors.

130
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,679
<font color="
in. To... make an example of 'em.

131
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,119
Oh, I see! Like a public hanging.
Yes.

132
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,439
I mean, it is too late
for Luke Banister unfortunately,

133
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,719
I will have to expel him.

134
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,839
No, no, don't do that, love.
<font color="

135
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:10,359
I'm his form teacher,
so if he steps out of line,

136
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,119
I won't sign his report card,
goodbye, Lucci Bantz.

137
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,440
I like it.
But don't call me love.

138
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,599
Fraser?
Ooh, since when did you have pets?

139
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,359
<font color="
but I'm not needlessly cruel. Soup?

140
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,799
Right, that is exactly why you're
not catering my wedding.

141
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:40,039
Spaghetti arabantia, ledgesana,
freshly baked ladaleines -

142
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,679
please, I would love to cater an
<font color="

143
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,599
You knew that it was an All Bar One?
Yes! I can't wait to show

144
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,679
Anthony Costa my
Anthony Costa tattoo.

145
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:49,719
Where's Lucci?

146
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,199
And why is he plugging all this
shit on his socials?

147
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,919
<font color="
drink protein shakes at home.

148
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,158
She's a real fun sponge.

149
00:06:56,159 --> 00:06:58,479
Fraze bars?
Shake-Eel.

150
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,839
It's a pun,
but they're also 30% real eel.

151
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,839
I shot Lucci the good shit
and he made me

152
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,559
<font color="
protein community.

153
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,839
Simple!

154
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,239
Table for three?

155
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,640
Here he is!

156
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:13,599
Ha!

157
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,799
Welcome to Chez Fray.

158
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,079
Any allergies?

159
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,079
Yeah. I'm allergic to old
geezers in shit trainers.

160
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,679
<font color="

161
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,039
Someone's hangry.

162
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,599
You meant him, right? Ahem!

163
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:27,999
Listen here, son.

164
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,919
You might think you're
Billy Big Bollocks now

165
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,319
but I can take your career
up a level. Who are you?

166
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,439
<font color="

167
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,399
And I am putting on a fight that's
going to make Fury Wilder

168
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,719
look like Will Smith defending his
little grumpy mate at the Oscars.

169
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,759
The only thing is, is you've got to
go down in the fourth round.

170
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:48,319
<font color="
I'm Lucci Bantz!

171
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:49,959
4K, you bastard!

172
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,279
I don't lose!

173
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,759
Can't even spell lose.

174
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,119
So you'd lose a spelling bee.

175
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,280
- LAUGHS
- What?!

176
00:07:55,283 --> 00:07:58,959
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
<font color="

177
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:04,479
disrespecting my boy asking him
to fight for nothing.

178
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,599
Fraser, are you having a stroke?

179
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,679
No, he's doing this
Sly Stallone impression.

180
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,159
No, actually, I do think

181
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:13,359
I am allergic to something
<font color="

182
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,119
Guessing it's the eel.

183
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:19,479
Ooh, boy! That's why they're always
so kind to me

184
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,680
at the London Aquarium.

185
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,239
Right, listen, Banister,
unfortunately for you,

186
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,639
I'm also your form teacher.
Now, you need me

187
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,879
<font color="
you're going to get expelled.

188
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,239
No school, no content.

189
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,199
And all of this goes away.

190
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,600
So, are you going to go down in the
fourth round or not?

191
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,800
I hope you like it blue.

192
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,679
Lucci agreed to fight!
<font color="

193
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,319
And I'll be taking full creative
control of this production.

194
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,599
Oh, do you like boxing, sir?

195
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,119
Uh, Cagey Joe in Bugsy, yeah.

196
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,359
Who? OK, fine.

197
00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,719
We want it to feel like heavyweights
<font color="

198
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,439
Celine, Adele, Britney.

199
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,479
Tyson, Mayweather, Lennox Lewis.

200
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,599
Is that Leona's brother?
Oh, for God's sake!

201
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,719
Right. We need to find a challenger.

202
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,159
Me! Me, sir, man.

203
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,519
I need to sprinkle some
<font color="

204
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,679
messing with a girl's power plump
lip gloss, is haram.

205
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,879
I swear, I'm going to gouge that
prick's eye out

206
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,559
and use it as a Beautyblender!

207
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:24,199
Loving the energy but I'm afraid
this one is for the boys.

208
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:29,199
<font color="
sir, and I will win,

209
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,839
cos this is a game of inches
and I am the king!

210
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,599
I'll be the lyric-spitting bad
man that will crush Lucci Bantz.

211
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:38,519
Then I'll shag his mother
while he shits his pants!

212
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:39,540
<font color="

213
00:09:39,541 --> 00:09:40,560
Oh!

214
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,359
I've heard of a glass jaw but I've
never seen a glass fist before.

215
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,079
All you've got to do is dance round
the ring for four rounds

216
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,399
and then one punch, yeah?

217
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,799
And they say I don't teach you all
<font color="

218
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,759
He doesn't mean literally
dancing around the ring.

219
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,120
Bopability, passion! Use it, Warren!

220
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,439
Tits and teeth!

221
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,079
MOANS

222
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,080
Come on, you dosser! Let's go.

223
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,960
I am a fighter, but I'm also
<font color="

224
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,599
Look in the mirror, what do you see?

225
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,079
Uh, me. No.

226
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,400
That right there is
your biggest enemy.

227
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,160
WAILS

228
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,399
Oh, for f... The kid's a bell-end.

229
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,159
Jab! Jab! Jab! Punch!

230
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,079
<font color="
tender.

231
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,119
Yeah! Urgh!

232
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,639
Woo! Nice one, champ.

233
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,079
So, is your mum still single? Argh!

234
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,639
Hmm!

235
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,519
The photo I'm holding in my hand
is of the champion

236
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:14,119
we have selected to represent Class
<font color="

237
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,439
thus saving Mr Harper's wedding.

238
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:17,479
Ooh!

239
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,079
Warren, my love... it's not you.

240
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,999
Yeah, I love Kayleigh, mate,
but I couldn't do that to ya.

241
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,959
Besides, the last thing
I need is another court date.

242
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,239
<font color="

243
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,919
I'm sorry, is this a joke to you?

244
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:32,319
I cannot believe you would come
in here with a defeatist attitude.

245
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,439
I'm sorry, sir,
I'm just not a fighter.

246
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,719
Take control of your own destiny.

247
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,159
No, I don't want to get
<font color="

248
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:40,840
Stop it!

249
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,399
I have never in my life
yelled at a girl like this!

250
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:48,079
I was rooting for you,
we were all rooting for you!

251
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,879
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
Learn something from this!

252
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,039
Can you just tell them
<font color="

253
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,119
It's Harrison.

254
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,599
SCREAMS

255
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,039
It's him again!

256
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,559
Ladies and gentlemen,

257
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:06,279
tomorrow night, two giants go
head-to-head here at Abbey Grove.

258
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,759
ALL: Ooh!

259
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,639
Let's meet the fighters.
<font color="

260
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,959
but don't let that fool you.
He's a killer.

261
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:18,359
It's Harrison "The Hurricane".

262
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,079
MUSIC: Believe
by Cher

263
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,319
Stop it! Stop!

264
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,239
No, I said no pictures! Get back!
Get back!

265
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,599
<font color="

266
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,119
What the hell is this music?

267
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,640
What? You asked for Believe.
Yeah, by Eminem.

268
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,880
MUSIC CHANGES

269
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,680
Oh, that's more like it.

270
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,679
Oh, Jesus Christ.

271
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,760
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

272
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,879
Lucci Bantz.

273
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,719
<font color="
CROWD: All day!

274
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,799
4K...
CROWD: All day.

275
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,319
Woo! Let's go!

276
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,359
Right, gentlemen,
before we weigh you,

277
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,439
let's face off for one last time.

278
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,239
Wait. What's this bit?

279
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,199
<font color="
Oh, work!

280
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:58,320
Ha!

281
00:12:58,321 --> 00:12:59,439
LUCCI LAUGHS

282
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,439
It's a pussy!
I can't fight him,

283
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,360
I'll get done by the RSPCA, won't I?

284
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,479
Harrison, say something.
Say something back to him.

285
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,439
<font color="

286
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,959
Erm...

287
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,279
WHISPERS: Stephen.

288
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:14,800
Uh...

289
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,880
Yeah? Well, you're a dumb ho. Ah!

290
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,559
And, er, your shorts are not
giving, child.

291
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:30,360
Also, your shoulders are
<font color="

292
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,839
I'm going to go through
you like Fraser's tuna bhuna.

293
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,039
ALL: Ooh!

294
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,200
That bad boy burns.
WHISPERS: Go on, Harrison. One more.

295
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,360
HE PURRS

296
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,559
<font color="
Stephen, what did you tell him?

297
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,119
I just said slap him.

298
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:02,519
Purr! Oh, God. He thinks he's a cat.

299
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:03,999
Meow!

300
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,679
Oh, no.

301
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,839
Oh, I think he likes you, look.

302
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,239
LAUGHS

303
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,420
SCREAMS

304
00:14:12,421 --> 00:14:14,599
<font color="

305
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,040
LAUGHTER

306
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,119
Get some of this inside you.

307
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,039
Ten inches of non-filtered eel.

308
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,960
I don't want the eel!

309
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:37,719
Er, Blessing, these odds
are far too short.

310
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,159
I can't help it, sir.
<font color="

311
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,319
He made Lucci look
like a dickhead in the weigh-in.

312
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,399
Even if I win,
I ain't going to make any money.

313
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,839
And I've got my eye on this gorgeous
little Mexican spot for my wedding.

314
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,359
Brand-new in town,
<font color="

315
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,639
Are you trying to say
Taco Bell in a Spanish accent?

316
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,319
No. Don't ask stupid questions.

317
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,399
Right, we need to change fighters.

318
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,439
The only way we can change fighters
is through injury,

319
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,239
otherwise people are going to get
<font color="

320
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:07,239
Sir! Sir! Oh, my God!
Harrison just headbutted a mirror!

321
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,479
There is blood everywhere!

322
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,279
Result! Problem solved.

323
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,679
Ha-ha! Right.
Let's change this fighter.

324
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:17,599
We need to find someone that is
<font color="

325
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,639
like a proper little streak of piss.
Like a little...

326
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,640
Warren. Warren?

327
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,559
You can't make him
fight Lucci Bantz, sir.

328
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,679
Warren has PTSD. Ah, is that the one
where you can't concentrate?

329
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:30,959
<font color="

330
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,479
Oh, look, meatballs for lunch.
Lovely. Come on, sir.

331
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,999
Sir, Lucci already humiliated me
in front of the whole school.

332
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,519
You said you weren't going to make
me fight. Warren,

333
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,719
<font color="

334
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,359
all of you can come
to my wedding, yeah?

335
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,639
It's a free bar and some
of the bridesmaids ain't picky.

336
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,959
Do it, Warren.
Do it for the pussy, man.

337
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,479
I said they weren't picky,
<font color="

338
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:52,759
I can't. I'm sorry.

339
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,479
Look, Warren, please.

340
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,319
If Kayleigh finds out that
I've ruined her big day, then...

341
00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,720
Well, then she's going to leave me.

342
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,319
I really love her.

343
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,839
Come on. You know
<font color="

344
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,079
OK. Yeah! Oh, my God, phallus!

345
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,080
What? Oh, my gosh! Who put that?

346
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,239
Right. Get out of the way,
you dossers.

347
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:27,079
I am betting 500 quid on Warren

348
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,959
to win by knockout Round 4.

349
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,160
<font color="

350
00:16:31,161 --> 00:16:32,359
PHONE RINGS

351
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,959
Wait, let me at it.
Let me see, let me see.

352
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,239
Hello, babe. You all right?
ON PHONE: Mitchell, where are you?

353
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,759
Eh? Harper! Where are you?

354
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,239
<font color="

355
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,359
All right, Miss?
Look, when I agreed to this event,

356
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,399
I didn't expect you to
invite the parents!

357
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,239
Well, of course,
I invited the parents, Miss,

358
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,319
they're here to help the pot.
<font color="

359
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:51,239
Pot... ential of this innovative
disciplinary event.

360
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,319
I love your dickie bow... Sh!

361
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,239
Now, I know there's money
changing hands.

362
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,959
Let me make this nice and easy,
in words of one syllable,

363
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,839
<font color="

364
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,919
Miss Hoburn, do you really think
I would pull the ladder up? Yes.

365
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,559
The school gets the gate, you get
the car park, how does that sound?

366
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,559
Deal. Hey! Yes, I drive a hard
<font color="

367
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,719
Don't forget,

368
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,879
I helped the government procure
PPE during the pannie D.

369
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,559
Yeah, right. There you go.

370
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,880
Ooh! I like it. Sweet as.

371
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:19,600
PHONE BEEPS

372
00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:20,919
Sorry, babe, where were we?

373
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,118
<font color="
we were meant to be doing tonight?

374
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:24,358
Huh?

375
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:27,199
Oh, shit! I forgot to cancel.
Bollocks!

376
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,919
You ain't gone to Allbarone,
have you?

377
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,239
You mean All Bar One?

378
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,880
Mitchell?

379
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,519
<font color="
That'll be the sat nav

380
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,079
getting confused. It done that to
me... Mitchell, if you've spent

381
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,959
that money, I swear to God...
No, no, no, no, no!

382
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,479
Babe, I will explain everything
<font color="

383
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:50,839
Uh, Usma? Usma! Can you get Kayleigh
a seat, please? Front row.

384
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,480
Oh! Front row? With these clothes?

385
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,159
Just do it, please.

386
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,799
Come on, I'm really stressed out.
What is going on?

387
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,600
- Love you.
- <font color="

388
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:14,919
W... Welcome to Fight Night
in Hertfordshire's Sin City!

389
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,460
Give it up!

390
00:18:16,461 --> 00:18:17,999
CHEERING

391
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,119
I give you Lucci Bantz!

392
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,399
CROWD CHANT: Lucci! Lucci! Lucci!

393
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:28,239
BOOING
That's me, huh? Lucci, that's me!

394
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,879
<font color="
introduce Abbey Grove's most

395
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,719
sickening bitch, it's Warren!

396
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,479
MUSIC: If I Could Turn Back Time
by Cher

397
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,240
Take his eyes out, Warren!

398
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,879
Woo!

399
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,359
Woo!

400
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,679
Warren, stop fannying about
<font color="

401
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,920
He can't even get in the ring.
THEY LAUGH

402
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,400
Ow! Ah!

403
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,679
Sir, when I asked for
a different song,

404
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,519
I didn't mean another
one from the same Cher album.

405
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,079
Now, Warren, how do you see this
<font color="

406
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,439
I see it from a bird's-eye view.

407
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:12,199
I'm... I'm floating weightless...

408
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,879
watching my body being
thrown around like a rag doll.

409
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,679
The higher I get, the less my death
seems to matter. Ah, ah, ah!

410
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,759
<font color="
not just a punched out trap!

411
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,919
As I said when I played Cagey Joe
in Bugsy...

412
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,799
I don't know how
that's going to help.

413
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,199
You're not listening!

414
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,559
I am a dead man walking and there's
<font color="

415
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,119
understudy on a free town tour of
Bugsy Malone that can change that!

416
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,159
Bravo, Warren.

417
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,320
One minute in the spotlight and I
don't even recognise you any more.

418
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,720
I would like to invite you all to
<font color="

419
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:50,799
♪ God save our... ♪
♪ Oh say

420
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,119
♪ Can you see

421
00:19:54,120 --> 00:20:00,799
♪ By the dawn's early light

422
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,080
♪ Oh the... ♪

423
00:20:03,081 --> 00:20:05,359
SLURS LYRICS

424
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:10,199
♪ ..By the twilight's last gleaming?

425
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:16,519
♪ Whose broad stripes
<font color="

426
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,919
♪ Whoa! Whoa! ♪

427
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,280
Let's play some boxing!

428
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:27,840
All right, lads.

429
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,839
Right, keep it clean,
obey my commands.

430
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:35,480
And my God have mercy on your
souls. Touch gloves!

431
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,239
<font color="
Go for it!

432
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,060
WHIMPERS

433
00:20:49,061 --> 00:20:50,879
Come on! Urgh!

434
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,600
Ow! Urgh!

435
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,359
Oh, my God, it's so violent!

436
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:58,680
WARREN GROANS

437
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,120
Ooh!

438
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,639
<font color="
Run away!

439
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,999
Help me! HELP!

440
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:20,959
Tie him up!
Kill him, Warren! KILL HIM!

441
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,799
Oh, shit, listen to Usma.
Someone woke up and chose violence.

442
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:24,959
Shame it wasn't Warren.

443
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,679
WARREN WHIMPERING

444
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,719
<font color="

445
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,199
Someone get him some water!

446
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,920
Well done, Warren! Well done!
That's it. Good man.

447
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,599
This is it, mate. This is it.
Round 4, yeah?

448
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,959
Lucci is going to lower his guard

449
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,079
and that is your cue to land the
<font color="

450
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,319
Game over.

451
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:47,559
BELL

452
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,600
You've got this one, Warren!
Woo!

453
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,640
Lucci! Stick to the plan!

454
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,840
- Oh!
- STEPHEN SCREAMS

455
00:22:00,843 --> 00:22:02,959
Warren! Warren!

456
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,359
One...

457
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,079
<font color="

458
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,679
..two...

459
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,199
Drink your Shake-Eel!
4K all day, people.

460
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:13,239
Oi! If Warren don't get up,
I'm going to exclude you.

461
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:17,759
Fill your boots. Thanks to you,
I got verified on TikTok.

462
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:21,719
The people love me!
<font color="

463
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,760
..seven...

464
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,119
..eight... Get up!

465
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,200
And you're out.

466
00:22:28,201 --> 00:22:29,279
BELL

467
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,280
Sit down. God! When's the interval?!

468
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,919
Let's go!

469
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,839
Oi, Blessing! Lucci's tucked me
<font color="

470
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,399
Take that and stick it on Lucci

471
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,319
to win by knockout in
the 12th round, yeah?

472
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,639
But what about Warren, sir?
Oh, he ain't got a chance, has he?

473
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,079
But you always back Class K.

474
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,039
Yeah? You tell that to Kayleigh.
<font color="

475
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,159
Go. All right, babe?

476
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,460
Move your bum! Oh!

477
00:22:52,461 --> 00:22:53,759
WARREN MOANS

478
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,399
These heels are killing me!
I'm sorry, sir.

479
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,479
I shouldn't have told people that
you were an understudy.

480
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,319
<font color="
Nobody believed you anyway.

481
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,639
You just looked a bit bitter.
I know you were rooting for me.

482
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,079
Er, I am always rooting for you.

483
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,279
Oi, Warren! I heard your nan
was fit.

484
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:13,159
Fraser! What? I didn't tell him,
<font color="

485
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:17,039
Give me my gloves.
I just want to hit him, just once.

486
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,919
He's strong but he's got no rhythm.
You'll get your chance

487
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,759
but you have to dip, duck,
and slide.

488
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,319
I don't know how to do any of that.

489
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:24,879
<font color="

490
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,159
I'll say it again, I teach y'all
transferable skills!

491
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:29,279
GROWLS

492
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,600
Gentlemen, Round 5!

493
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,439
Now... listen to me,

494
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,479
you're going to stay on beat just
like a dance class

495
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,800
and take my direction, OK? Let's go.

496
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,040
<font color="

497
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:49,980
Round 5.

498
00:23:49,981 --> 00:23:51,280
BELL

499
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,999
Six, Pussycat Dolls! Roar! Boop!

500
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,799
Ha! Beyonce. Roar! Cha-cha!

501
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,440
And... yaas! Ha!

502
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:10,760
Ha! Westside! Roll!

503
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,000
Again, six, seven, eight!

504
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,759
Spice Girls! Seven, eight!

505
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:24,600
<font color="
Are you kidding?!

506
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:30,719
Yes, fight for this now!
Fight, fight, fight!

507
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,959
Hit me! Come on!
Again, fight, fight, fight! Woo!

508
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,319
What?! Gangnam Style!

509
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,920
Fraser.

510
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,959
Hello.

511
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:47,560
<font color="
you've got this.

512
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,680
Finish!

513
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,359
Yes, Warren!

514
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,279
CHEERING

515
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,879
A one, a two,

516
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,439
a three... Oh, no, actually,
can we get a medic, please,

517
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,519
to stop this boy bleeding
<font color="

518
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:13,280
You won't believe how much it cost
to hire. Oi, Miss.

519
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,240
I thought they loved me.

520
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,799
They did. Right up until the point
where Warren slut-dropped you

521
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,479
into punching yourself in the face.

522
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:28,880
<font color="

523
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,919
Please don't let Miss Hoburn expel
me, sir. My mum will kill me.

524
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,399
I promise I'll
sign your report card,

525
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,519
as long as you promise to stop
being a total bell-end.

526
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:40,879
Mm-hm, OK. Yeah?

527
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,839
<font color="
It's time to announce the winner.

528
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,239
CHEERING

529
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:50,719
And the winner
by disqualification is...

530
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,639
Lucci Bantz!

531
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,239
What? Huh? How?

532
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,519
<font color="

533
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,919
Concealed in this boy's glove.

534
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,879
Now, I take cheating very
seriously... Oh!

535
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:08,880
Oh, shit! Warren's a bad man!
CHEERING

536
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,279
Did you put lead in Warren's gloves?

537
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:17,759
No. I'm not that smart. I didn't bet
<font color="

538
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,319
Kayleigh, look, I am so sorry.
I'm an idiot.

539
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,399
I blew all of our wedding
money on Anthony Costa. Who?

540
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,599
Who's Anthony Costa?
Fraser, not now.

541
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,159
Red flag.

542
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,199
<font color="

543
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:34,080
I tried to fix the fight to pay
for our special day and I blew it.

544
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,199
You deserve so much more than me.

545
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,959
But I want to marry you for you,
OK? I don't care where we do it.

546
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,999
I ain't even bought you a ring.

547
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,999
<font color="

548
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,039
Are you serious?

549
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,199
Yes. Why not?

550
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,399
It's about you and me, right?

551
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,839
Surrounded by people who love us,
but I do still want a proper ring.

552
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:57,960
Yeah, course.

553
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:08,039
Kayleigh, if you want to change your
<font color="

554
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,960
But if I must, you may kiss
the bride.

555
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:14,800
Come on!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

556
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:17,800
Yes, sir!

557
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,639
Well, it's official. From boxing
bells to wedding bells,

558
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:28,399
this brother is punching
<font color="

559
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:32,000
Did all right, didn't I?
Yeah, you did good.

560
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:35,920
Hmm?

561
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:42,039
How did you... When did you get...

562
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,360
Never bet against Class K.

563
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,279
Oi, bless him,
Lucci's tucked me right up.

564
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,399
<font color="
win by knockout on Round 12, yeah?

565
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,800
But what about Warren?
Oh, he ain't got a chance, has he?

566
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:59,400
Put this on Lucci Bantz
by disqualification in Round 5.

567
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:07,519
Oi! You want to rile him up?
Diss his nan, she's a cougar.

568
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,800
<font color="

569
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,520
Give me my gloves.

570
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,160
Oi, miss.

571
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,199
Blessing, you're a genius!

572
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,199
Enjoy your honeymoon, sir.

573
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:28,359
Oh, we will. We're going to do
two weeks on this
beautiful little island,

574
00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:30,519
<font color="
it's called the...

575
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,079
IN FRENCH ACCENT: Isle du Wight.

576
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:38,439
Wow! I hope you and Kayleigh have a
lovely time on the Isle of Wight.

577
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:39,480
Huh?

578
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,279
NEWS REPORTER: And 100
<font color="

579
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,719
some as young as 12 have been
hospitalised by a mystery virus.

580
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,319
The groom has blamed the catering.

581
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:52,239
Slow down, buster!
You've got the wrong guy!

582
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:58,680
Pavel! Edna!
I thought we were friends!